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Not so, says University of Chicago Booth School of Business professor Nicholas Epley.
This doesn't mean you don't think interesting things or long to share them with your spouse.
The next time you stumble on, say, how to make a penny ball that repels slugs, make sure you share it with your husband, the gardener, by using a technique reported on by Adam Bryant in Quick and Nimble: Lessons from Leading CEOs on How to Create a Culture of Innovation.
Trying to see a situation from your spouse's perspective is supposed to be a good thing, right?
You get a snapshot of his or her feelings and thus can be more understanding and empathetic.
The idea being to create a (literal) picture of the past that illustrates what to do—or not to do—in your future.
Admit it: You're sick of hearing about date nights all together, including but not limited to: the importance of, the rules for, blah, blah, blah.
Some of the spouses simply guessed (e.g.,"Ernie would never use a credit card! Others had to write about a typical day in their partner's life, and then "put themselves in his or her shoes" before predicting (e.g., "Ernie works so hard all day at the bank, and he resents even paying five dollars for lunch; he would never use a credit card.") The result: Those who tried to imagine the other's perspective were less accurate than those who winged it—confirming Epley's real-life experience of giving his dolphin-loving wife a day of caring for the animals at the aquarium, not realizing that, since she'd just had a baby, she would not enjoy the binding, full-body wetsuit.
While understanding that your partner may have a different take than you is helpful, he writes in Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, you don't always imagine your partner's actual "different take." The best way to get your partner's point of view, he says, is to simply—oh yes, you saw this coming—ask for it.... Because sure, you want to pounce on him when you catch him in a jerky act—smoking a cigarette out the window?
Decide that you want to be the best version of yourself so that you can attract the most possibilities.
“Ultimately, it’s about choosing to live your life.” Jackie Dishner, grandmother to three toddlers and author of Backroads & Byways of Arizona, writes from Phoenix, Arizona, mostly about food & wine, lifestyle and travel.
Tip #7: Don’t take on the role of victim If you’ve taken on the role of victim, Carlson suggests leaving the “perpetual pity party” so you can transition into your new life as a single woman.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating