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You’ll always be able to find gay people who spout anti-gay rhetoric.You can even find people of color who openly advocate racist policies. Having a trans friend doesn’t mean you’re suddenly an expert on trans issues.
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I’m a big of fan of affirmative consent, and you should never feel pressured to have sex with somebody. This is not saying, “You have to have sex with a trans woman, or you’re cissexist.” It’s saying that you should examine the societal influences on your preferences.
There’s a massive difference between honing in on individual scenarios and considering wider societal issues and attitudes. You’re allowed to have your preferences, and you don’t to change anything.
Like, having a preference for tall girls is fine, but refusing to date anyone under 5’7″ is ridiculous.
And obviously that’s not a perfect analogy because short girls as a group don’t face the societal marginalization that trans women do.
For example, these people might argue that being attracted to only women with vaginas in no way negatively affects trans people.
On the other hand, I would argue that it’s more complicated than that.
And look, there are cis people who are on my side as well, so if you think it’s okay to point to your token trans friend, then I can just point to my token cis friend. I’ve never said that anyone should have to have sex with someone with a penis if they don’t want to.
If intimacy with someone who has a penis is triggering for you, I would never suggest that you have to do that.
But there’s more to it than that, and ignoring the deeper issues by stopping at a surface-level analysis doesn’t do this issue any justice.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating